X-Treme Romance
by Rigs
Summary: Don doesn't know the first thing about romance. The only type of love Yuji's ever known is self love. After watching X-Treme Barista for the first time, Don finds himself quickly falling for the narcissist. What will happen when they finally meet? Don has enough love for the both of them, but does Yuji have any for Don? The first Donji on the archive! Collaboration with Arreku97!


**Chapter by: Rigs**

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"You've reached Rigby. I can't take your call right now because I'm probably doing really cool, important person stuff. OOOOH! But seriously, leave a message."

"Hey Rigbone, it's Don. I've been trying to get through to you, bro, but you haven't picked up all week. Just call me back whenever you can? Love you, bro." He tapped to end call, sitting back with a sigh.

The typically clean and perfectly organized house was unusually disheveled which in Don's case would be several newspapers piled up outside the front door and three dishes in the sink. His appearance itself was more appalling than his habitat itself, tangled fur and deep bags under his eyes, some stubble starting to grow in since he'd neglected to shave. It had been nearly a week since Rigby had stopped answering his phone and his brother was growing to be quite concerned.

Not wanting to seem obsessive, Don dialed Rigby's number three times a day; once at noon, once at four, and once at eight. He was always precise, watching the clock with his phone prepared waiting for the hour to change so he could call at the exact moment it did. He would only leave a message at four o'clock, though, and he did every day for the past six days. On the third day, Don became so preoccupied with getting through to his brother that he stopped going to work. Thankfully, he was never ill and used some sick days to make up for this absence.

The only reason he'd been hesitant to visit his brother's place of residence is that he felt himself to be overreacting, and didn't want to come off as 'clingy'. He didn't want to show his concern in the case that it was a false alarm, not for his pride, but because he knew that would annoy Rigby.

Don resolved that he would try Mordecai's phone at 4:30, before driving to the house as a last resort. Until then, he'd make an attempt to settle his nerves by watching some television.

"TV-on," he dictated to his voice activated flat screen that only an accountant could afford. He verbally flipped through the channels, unamused by what was airing and preoccupied on worst case scenarios for what could have happened to his brother.

Worried that he would oversleep, Don decided against napping and decided to do some reading instead. He directed the television to turn itself off and looked up "Why hasn't my brother answered my calls?" on his laptop for the next half hour.

When exactly 4:30 arrived, he'd already had Mordecai's number dialed into his phone and immediately called.

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

The phone doesn't even receive the call before the second ring, he comforted himself.

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

"Hey, you've reached Mordecai. Sorry I'm not at the phone right now but you can leave a message if you want. Haha. Thanks!"

Don tapped to end before he was forced into leaving a message. This settled it; he was going to have to drive over there to make sure everything was okay.

He hopped off the couch and took a quick shower (so that he could receive some sugar in a best case scenario) before proceeding to his garage and getting into his expensive red convertible. Don sped over to the park, still regarding the laws and stopping in front of red lights etc., but driving at the full limit. He parked his car by the house, pressing a button to hear the shiny red door click close as he approached the entrance.

Don politely pressed the doorbell once to get no response. Talking from inside motivated him to press a second time. The door opened, revealing the familiar sight of the petit racoon he'd been so concerned about only moments before.

"Rigbone!" Don exclaimed, opening his arms. "Give me some sugar!"

Rigby hugged him shyly, a confused expression engulfing his face. "Hi Don. What are you doing here?"

"Hey, Don!" exclaimed someone from behind his brother. Mordecai came forward, seeming delighted.

"Mordo! Give me some sugar!" They pulled each other into a bear hug.

Rigby nervously glanced towards the living room as the other two embraced. "It's gonna start soon, man! I don't wanna miss it!"

"Miss what?" Don asked.

"X-Treme Barista," Mordecai replied casually, also informing him that "It's a reality show."

"And it's starting in two minutes!" Rigby warned loudly, the trio moving over to the couch.

"Hey, Rigbone. Why didn't you answer my calls?" Don blurted out, unsure if it was an appropriate time to ask considering this program was about to begin as well as the answer no longer really holding importance.

His brother shrugged. Mordecai turned to Rigby slowly, an expression of disbelief on his face.

"Dude, Eileen told us that you left it at her place and you didn't even bother to go pick it up!"

"I was gonna get it tomorrow!"

"Sure you were," Mordecai rolled his eyes before turning to Don, "Did you try calling me?"

"Oh, yeah, Mordo. I tried around 4:30 but you didn't answer either; I was concerned."

Though Mordecai believed him, he still pulled his phone out to check for missed calls and found that it had died.

"Crap. It died. I'm sorry-" he began but Rigby interrupted him.

"Shh! It's starting!" Mordecai and Rigby scrambled to seat themselves on the couch, leaving Don to stand and watch with them.

"Today, on X-treme Barista!" blasted the voice from the television. "Delicious Nuke N Angel."

A woman with striped hair who was missing her two front teeth appeared on the screen and spoke in slurs as one would expect from someone missing two teeth essential for speaking properly, "This competition is my life. Without this competition, I am nothing. Yuji's never 'ncounted a barista like me 'fore!" She meant to say encountered, but the error was overlooked, because it was then that it happened;

Don saw him for the first time.

A man of seemingly small stature yet gave off an aura of pride, attired in a ripped denim vest with matching sunglasses and a gold chain wound around his neck which read "Yuji". Something about him seemed so different, so majestic. The confidence with which he held himself was attractive to Don, and something deep down burned with an unknown feeling. One could call this love at first sight, but at the time it was more like curiosity to find out who this odd personality was.

"Who is he?" Don asked quietly, the awe in his tone going unnoticed by his hosts.

"That's Yuji!" Rigby exclaimed with a grin, holding his finger up to signify that they'd talk more about him in a second.

Don's attention refocused on the screen, feeling slightly dejected that he wasn't given more insight into Yuji's character.

Yuji had given some speech on how he was the best; given that he'd previously won three golden barista awards (Don would soon learn that he notified his competition of this at the beginning of every episode).

In this particular opponent, the other contestant had thrown an entire angel food cake into a juicer until it liquefied, then completing the recipe by pouring some cold coffee over the cup in which it was situated and sprinkling some candy cane dust over it. She seemed to take pride in this creation until the judges told her otherwise; making it clear that what she had created was an abomination.

Don watched with a certain fascination as Yuji created what appeared to be a simple cappuccino, topping it off with a perfect recreation of himself constructed of milk foam. The audience applauded in the background, encouraging Yuji to place the cup on a miniature skate board that slid down a wooden plank, gliding upward on a small ramp before it fell into a funnel with a filter taped to the bottom and shot up through a tube into the mouths of the judges. It could be compared to a straw but worked more similarly to water torture. Despite this eerily similarity, the judges seemed content and immediately held up score cards that read perfection. Yuji was tossed a basketball from the audience and went to take a slam dunk in a hoop that seemingly came out of nowhere.

Don gasped. An eccentric coffee maker and good at hoops, _too_?

After that day, Don found himself becoming an avid fan of X-treme Barista.

On days that new episodes aired, he'd often leave work early under the premise that he'd worked overtime the evening prior. He learned the names of all the contestants, their personalities, and their individual blending styles. The repetition of every episode became comforting to Don, knowing that each episode would rotate the same.

Meet the opponent and hear them proclaim their superiority at being a barista, a snide retort from Yuji, and some blending.

What differentiated in each episode and prevented the show from being unbearably boring were Yuji's unexpected actions, the only constant between them was that they were never within the realm of the ordinary. Maybe one day he'd freeze his hot beverage and force the judges to let it melt in their mouths to fully experience the flavor. Another time he'd fully undress and serve an expresso in an origami cup from a folded ten dollar bill. Whatever the way Yuji served his entry, it would always be done in complete perfection.

In the time that he'd been watching the show, Don also found himself slowly becoming more attracted to Yuji- particularly his "extreme" confidence, one of his most eye-catching traits, and how Yuji held himself to a high standard regardless of the circumstance. Yuji loved himself so much that Don couldn't help but love him, too.

One day, Don was made that Yuji was intending to hold a book signing at Books, Things, and In Between. Don didn't even know that he'd written a book until the day before the signing, when an episode of X-treme Barista ended in Yuji being trampled by several police officers, during which he screamed "Read my book!"

So that motivated Don to do some research, in which time he'd come to find that Yuji was in his city, doing a book signing the very next day!

Unfortunately, he had a very important meeting with a client at the same time as the signing. The client was a considerably kind man, Don thought, and he won't mind if I postpone our meeting.

Don called the man, a peculiarly old creature named Mr. Maellard (whom, he was unware of, owned the park that his brother was employed at). The phone barely rang twice before a moody, scratchy voice answered.

"Hello Don. Are you calling to confirm our meeting tomorrow?"

"Hello, Mr. Maellard," Don greeted smoothly before getting to his point, "About our meeting… I think I'm going to have to reschedule."

Mr. Maellard's tone instantly seemed irritate as he quickly responded, "No. That won't do, Don! There are plenty of other accounts out there who would get on their hands and knees to file my taxes for me, if it's too 'inconvenient' to you."

Don sighed; he couldn't lose the client. So he conformed, feeling defeated, "It can wait, sir. You and your taxes are my top priority. Our meeting is still on for tomorrow, I insist."

"Good," spat the voice on the other end of the line. "I look forward to it." And then he hung up.

Don sighed and leaned back in his office chair, devastated at the knowledge that he'd be unable to attend Yuji's book signing the next day. He was fully away that Maellard would go out of his way to extend the meeting to enjoy every second of Don's suffering and he suddenly was overwhelmed with hatred towards his client.

Despite this, he showed up at the meeting the next day and acted as professionally as one should for such occasions. His prediction was correct and the meeting consumed much more time than had been planned, ending about an hour after the signing officially ended.

Don, optimistic that Yuji had potentially remained for some time afterwards, drove back into the city from Mr. Maellard's expensive mansion in the upscale suburbs just barely beyond the outskirts to visit Books, Things, and In Between. It was closed by the time he arrived and the feelings of dejection returned.

He decided to get a coffee to take his mind off things but then reminded himself that Yuji was a barista and such a plan would only worsen things. So Don simply decided to take a walk around to city for distraction as it could be no worse than going to a junky hipster-filled coffee shop.

Don strode along the sidewalk; exploring the faces of those he passed by. These faces included a mother and a father swinging their toddler son who clung to their hands as they crossed the street, an aggravated-looking business woman telling off her perfected-looking coworker who had clearly followed her from work, an old woman feeding birds as she walked, and a homeless man who quietly nibbled on some of the crumbs that she'd thrown for the birds. Don gently smiled at the starving beggar and gave him a five, as well as some sugar. The poor man thanked him profusely and Don continued onward.

A few blocks over, he saw a homeless woman on a street corner in a similar situation and was preparing to assist her when his eye caught sight of something far more distracting. Still bending over her to give her some money, he straightened himself up, dropped $1.50 in her cup, and turned to face what she was now watching as well.

A figure was drifting through the air before them; a dark silhouette in a hang glide was about to land in the middle of the busy street. But, wait, no he shifted ever so slightly and jumped from the contraption, which flew back into the sky with the wind as the many casually landed in the middle of the pedestrian traffic, proceeding to shuffle through it as if nothing had just happened.

Don thought that this might just be the perfect distraction from his missed opportunity to meet his television idol, but that changed the second he approached the man.

It was Yuji.

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**a/n: Greetings fellow Yuji shippers! This story is a collaboration with Arreku97, which means I only deserve credit as a co-writer! I highly rec reading his stories because they're super rad! Chapter 2 is coming soon and it'll be even more romantic, wow! -Rigs**


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